Thursday, December 01, 2005

Fasting

So, I'm fasting today & (hopefully) tomorrow. I don't think today will be a big problem, I'll just be somewhat hungry tonight. Tomorrow, I don't have a clue about. I only recall fasting once before, back when I was in high school, and that was a mis-guided dieting attempt. No, I wasn't trying to starve myself, it was just a recommendation from someone to fast one day per week. I made it most of a day. This time, it's spiritual, as in fasting & prayer. I'm praying for an answer to our prayers for a good job for my wife, and for financial guidance. We managed to get squeezed really tight this month. We had a few surprise expenses come up, as well as a few discretionary spending choices we should have avoided making. So, at this moment, I'm not even sure if I can afford to pay the rent tomorrow, and if we can, how I can buy gas for the cars next week. On top of that, I know that we are supposed to be tithing off every paycheck. I stopped doing this back when I was single, and it always bugged me a little, but I wasn't going to church, so I didn't have anywhere to tithe. (Great excuse huh?) However, my wife and I have started trying to tithe since we started going to church where we live. It's been pretty tough. We have managed off and on for several months now, but not consistently. Either we get sick, and miss church for several weekends in a row, or get pinched financially, and try to convince ourselves that we'll just put it in next week out of the next check. Also, we have heard several messages regarding (and I've been impressed by) the statement that tithes are supposed to be firstfruits. In other words, they come out before anything else; and not in the end, if I have something left over after the bills. Yet, we won't have enough for the bills alone, much less tithe & bills. So, we need financial intervention from the Lord. However, I also am seeking financial wisdom to prevent this from happening again. We have been living paycheck to paycheck for a while now, never tracking our money. We've tried to implement a budget countless times, but never with any success. Like with most other things in my personal life, it's a frustrating failure. There's never enough time, and I never have any energy left over after work. These are some of the reasons why I'm fasting. I don't expect a quick fix, however I do want to demonstrate that I am serious about wanting to change. I had thought about fasting a couple times before, and then it got mentioned in the sermon on Sunday. I thought about it again yesterday, once I realised the situation we were in financially, and decided it was the right choice for me. I don't know if it is right for everyone, nor do I know a lot about it (as I don't with most things spiritually), but I believe it is right for me, at this moment. Well, I'll tell you how things go tomorrow, until then, blessings.