Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Business Trip Postponed

So, my business trip has been postponed. We are now looking at March tentatively. $wife is a bit disappointed, for all the reasons she was excited to be going. Now we are going about canceling our tickets, and trying to figure out what to do with the winter clothes we bought for the trip. At least my company is being more than decent about it, and is offering to reimburse the fees we incur for $wife's ticket (in addition to mine, which they are paying for in the first place), since we had no control over the changing of the trip. I'd love to say, "We'll just take a vacation week and go anyway", but we couldn't afford the hotel or rental car, and it isn't that great of a vacation destination anyway Well, guess that means I go back to plotting where to take $wife out-of-state to first. Any suggestions?

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Black Dogs, Electric Sheep, & Dysphoric Humans

So, I'm feeling quite dysphoric today. I can't concentrate at all, and I'm tired. I had a hard time trying to figure out exactly what I was experiencing. At first I thought I was just tired and not feeling well from sinus (cedar season just began) and getting over a cold. Then I thought, maybe I'm restless from it almost being the holiday weekend, and still needing to go shopping for a gift. However, I also just want to curl up and go to sleep, although I'm not sure I could. (If you don't know, ask your local geek what electric sheep have to do with sleeping (and more specifically, dreaming) And, even if I wasn't at work, I don't know what I'd be doing. Nothing sounds like I'd enjoy it.

I hate this feeling. I almost find myself wishing I was depressed instead, because that's a little easier to deal with. Of course, I wouldn't agree while being depressed. I was diagnosed as having bi-polar disorder several years ago. The symptoms used to be out of control, now they are just really annoying for a couple of days at a time, and pretty much forgotten about the rest of the time. Of course, it'd be nice for them to just go away altogether, but I'm pretty happy that they aren't running my life, or dictating what I do on a daily basis anymore.

I'm not presently on medicine. I used to be, and honestly, it was just as bad, in a way all it's own. It lessened the duration of my depression phases, but heightened the sensation of mixed states and dysphoria. The dysphoric states it created basically left me feeling as though my body was depressed, but my mind couldn't be because of the medicine, or the other way around. Things just never were in sync.

I'm doing much better now, and the majority of my days are just normal, which is quite nice. As for today, it's almost over anyway (the work portion that is), and usually by the time I've figured out what is bothering me, its only a day or two from going away. So, Happy Holidays to everyone!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Movie Review: King Kong

I saw King Kong with my wife last night. She loved it, except for the parts with giant insects. I'd never seen any of the original films, so it was an all new story to me. I didn't know how much I'd like it, as creature flicks are not my normal fare, but I can say I really enjoyed it. It's definitely one to see in the theater, both for scale of what you see on screen, and for the awesome sound work. I only saw through the CGI at one point, and that was only a matter of seconds. Everything else looked very good, although I didn't spend a lot of time trying to "pick at the seams". It's a little long, but not too bad, and it doesn't feel drawn out. Any shorter, and you'd start feeling it in the story line. It did have a nice epic feel to it. While it wasn't too gory, it's not a kid's film, both for the violence, and the sad ending. Overall, definitely worth seeing at full movie price, and even braving opening weekend crowds for. 8.5 out of 10

Friday, December 02, 2005

Christmas Time Tackiness

So, it's coming up on the Christmas time of year. Of course, here at work, it's been around for several weeks already. We've already been hit up by our customers for prizes to give away at their office parties. A few even go so far as to inform us they will be taking a large discount off their next invoice if we do not provide a gift. However, today topped all. One customer called up to find out where the gift we were supposed to send them was, because it hadn't arrived yet, so we were expected to drop everything to get them a tracking number on it. Of course, it had been delivered yesterday, but it still struck us as being very tacky! Maybe I'm just too sensitive though, would you conisder it as being beyond the boundaries of good taste??

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Fasting

So, I'm fasting today & (hopefully) tomorrow. I don't think today will be a big problem, I'll just be somewhat hungry tonight. Tomorrow, I don't have a clue about. I only recall fasting once before, back when I was in high school, and that was a mis-guided dieting attempt. No, I wasn't trying to starve myself, it was just a recommendation from someone to fast one day per week. I made it most of a day. This time, it's spiritual, as in fasting & prayer. I'm praying for an answer to our prayers for a good job for my wife, and for financial guidance. We managed to get squeezed really tight this month. We had a few surprise expenses come up, as well as a few discretionary spending choices we should have avoided making. So, at this moment, I'm not even sure if I can afford to pay the rent tomorrow, and if we can, how I can buy gas for the cars next week. On top of that, I know that we are supposed to be tithing off every paycheck. I stopped doing this back when I was single, and it always bugged me a little, but I wasn't going to church, so I didn't have anywhere to tithe. (Great excuse huh?) However, my wife and I have started trying to tithe since we started going to church where we live. It's been pretty tough. We have managed off and on for several months now, but not consistently. Either we get sick, and miss church for several weekends in a row, or get pinched financially, and try to convince ourselves that we'll just put it in next week out of the next check. Also, we have heard several messages regarding (and I've been impressed by) the statement that tithes are supposed to be firstfruits. In other words, they come out before anything else; and not in the end, if I have something left over after the bills. Yet, we won't have enough for the bills alone, much less tithe & bills. So, we need financial intervention from the Lord. However, I also am seeking financial wisdom to prevent this from happening again. We have been living paycheck to paycheck for a while now, never tracking our money. We've tried to implement a budget countless times, but never with any success. Like with most other things in my personal life, it's a frustrating failure. There's never enough time, and I never have any energy left over after work. These are some of the reasons why I'm fasting. I don't expect a quick fix, however I do want to demonstrate that I am serious about wanting to change. I had thought about fasting a couple times before, and then it got mentioned in the sermon on Sunday. I thought about it again yesterday, once I realised the situation we were in financially, and decided it was the right choice for me. I don't know if it is right for everyone, nor do I know a lot about it (as I don't with most things spiritually), but I believe it is right for me, at this moment. Well, I'll tell you how things go tomorrow, until then, blessings.